There are several positive things about the NFL draft. For example,
it allows 248 healthy young men to have an ego-filling fifteen minutes
of fame. Many of those have achieved the equivalent of a high school
education by investing four seasons in NCAA athletics and will never
know another moment of football glory until they receive local notoriety
on homecoming day a dozen years from now.
Another good thing about the draft -the true reason the NFL needs
it- is that it holds ticket prices down to a reasonable exorbitant
price. If each of the teams had to bid for each year's college crop,
it would be very difficult to field 31 teams of quality players.
As long as the Deuce McAllisters and Michael Vicks can dicker with
only one team, they will have to sign or begin a career as a swimming
instructor or heart surgeon.
The third nice thing about the draft is that it makes it possible
to field a team in some of our lesser garden spots. Really, can
anyone find fifty or so healthy young men who prefer freezing their
hip pads off in Cincinnati to lolling on a California beach?
So the draft manages to delude 248 muscular youngsters into thinking
they are as important as beer at a frat house and then bring them
back to earth by forcing them to play for fewer six-packs than their
agents tell them they are worth. And some end in up in places they
would never visit sober. It's like THE STING without Redford
and Newman. I love it!
The draft is one more pleasant delusion for fans. It that keeps
us going though the gray days and brightens our darkest off-season
nights. Like when we were kids and at age eleven thought that, well,
maybe here might be a Santa Claus anyway. We dream that next year
our favorite team will have that quarterback, that runner, that
linebacker, and all will be well in the win-loss column. Some begin
anticipating next year's draft in September - about the time we
discover last year's draft wasn't the answer. By bleak December
when the fumbles, the missed tackles, the penalties have piled NFL
playoff hopes into a helpless heap, we can take solace in each defeat
improving our drafting position.
For all it's warts, the NFL draft will continue to fascinate fans.
Every April, more people watch the selection show on ESPN than pay
for a ticket to see a live game. It's that one day per year when
everyone can delude himself into thinking his team is a winner by
laying claim to the Supermen-to-be.
However, even a first-year court reporter knows the beloved draft
is illegal as hell. In this country, you just can not go around
telling people they can only work at their chosen trade in just
one place. Image a landscaper being told. "You can't scape
land at our San Diego home office, even though there's an opening,
and even though you are the best one to fill it. You see, our competitors
in Buffalo, New York have already claimed you as an employee. They
won't pay you as much as we would and the working conditions aren't
as nice, but that our agreement. Our hands are tied. So just go
to Buffalo and call us after you've had five years of service with
them."
Several draft-fixers have suggested that the league return to awarding
"bonus picks" to bottom teams. They suggest that the only
way of improving a lot of the lesser teams would be to start with
awarding ten 'bonus' picks to the teams with the poorest record.
These non-tradable picks would be drawn for the five weakling teams.
If the NFL were really serious about equalizing competition, it
might go that route. Imagine today's Browns or Falcons with three
selections each within the first fifteen selections. With that type
of opportunity, it would be realistic to expect them to better themselves
in a short period of time. Where one prime prospect will have very
limited effect on a team, three all-or-nothing draftees can make
a difference.
