8:06 - While sideline reporter Lisa Guererro asks Gale Sayers and Dick Butkus questions before kickoff, Sayers gives her the weekly, "Lisa, what the hell are you talking about?" look that we can all look forward to this year.

8:17 - It is stated that Brett Favre has gone eleven years without missing a single game. If we could only get that kind of dedication in reverse from Jerry Glanville.

8:18 - Ahman Green breaks a 60-yard run for a touchdown. I liken the fantasy owner to Bill Cartwright during the Michael Jordan era. It is crucial to get off early. Green has uncorked long TD runs two weeks in a row. Now Green's owners can start to get greedy.

8:20 - Nice to see ABC trotting out quality programs this fall. "It's All Relative," tells the story of blue-collar family whose son falls in love with a woman who happens to have two men as her "parents." I'm sure all jokes pertaining to their sexuality will be treated as gently and delicately as a Faberge egg at auction.

8:27 - The new Soldier Field certainly has been maligned here in Chicago. It is ugly on the outside, but beautiful on the inside. Kind of like that heavyset girl who was in your Algebra class.

8:31 - Donald Driver, who made the sound of an accordion when he hit the turf in week one, looks pretty good on this drive. I wrote him off, but maybe he isn't done yet. Of course I say that after I dropped him in week two. Typical.

8:37 - Hey Kordell, you have a little something on your jaw. Just brush it off. You missed it. Right below your jaw line. Just flick at it. No, its still there…..

8:41 - They're not booing, they're saying Kordell. And there is the requisite shot of the fan standing up with a beer in his hand giving the, "Where the hell where you throwing it?" look. That never gets old.

8:46 - Talk of the relationship between linebacker Brian Urlacher and socialite Paris Hilton. Old school meets no school.

8:49 - 17-0 at the end of the first quarter. Yuk. I've had time fly by faster during torture sessions.

8:55 - Chicago stats: 15 yards rushing, 21 yards passing. I am soon surprised to discover that those are stats for the first quarter, not the season to this point.

8:58 - Third and long and the Bears still try the wide receiver screen. Pathetic, just pathetic. The entire coaching staff should have Monster.com on their list of favorites on their laptops.
How much longer can ABC milk the passing of John Ritter. How are they going to explain his passing on his show? I hope a stunned Gary Berghoff comes in at one point and explains how Ritter's chopper went down in the Sea of Japan and there were no survivors. That would make things end in a nice package for everyone, especially since we wouldn't have any threats along the lines of "Hello Larry."

9:08 - Ahman Green rumbles past the 100-yard plateau and scores his second Td. If he doesn't get to 200 yards tonight it will be due to a blowout or injury.

9:11 - The reason referee Jeff Triplett pats himself on the head so much is to reinforce the fact that he is a good boy. Talk about insecure.

9:12 - William Henderson scores to make it 24-3 in favor of the Pack. The reaction shot of Bears coach Dick Jauron displays that the coach has all the passion and zest of a damp rag.

9:19 - Jim Belushi is to Chicago as Charles Manson is to Los Angeles.

9:31 - The stat shows the Bears are 0-133 lifetime when down by 21 or more points, giving further proof that the Bears offensive history is as diversified as a Klan meeting.

9:33 - The end of the first half has fans getting restless, but the only fans that should be booing are the ones who made the trip from Wisconsin.

9:48 - Lisa Guerrero proving that even a leather coat can be tight if pulled snugly enough across your chest. That's no easy accomplishment, it's not like the jacket is made of lycra or anything. That must cut off her circulation or something. I don't think she was wearing blue lipstick…

9:53 - Aaron Gibson is said to have lost 75 pounds and is "down" to 375. In all honesty, he is supposed to be in shape and he gets up over 4 bills? He will be washing himself with a rag on a stick when he is 40.

10:07 - You cannot run the option in the pros. Just ask Bears receiver Dez White who just got smeared like a fly on a screened in window. By the way, I've heard Bears offensive coordinator John Shoop's system is tough to learn due to all the verbiage. I didn't know there were so many ways to say, "Throw it underneath."

10:13 - After moving the ball using Kordell's legs, the drive comes to halt when they inexplicably have his throw on second and third down. Bring on the punting unit.

10:24 - Life from the Bears!! The A-Train rolls for a 67-yard score. That is the best he has looked since his rookie year. That says so little about his campaign last year, it gives hope for the rest of the year for his fantasy owners. By the way, has anyone seen the new "Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel," where they discuss the growing popularity of fantasy football? The only reason I ask is because the fantasy owner they interview is wearing a tall blue wizards hat during the segment and likes to be referred to as "The Wizard." There is nothing like perpetuating the stereotype that fantasy owners are geeks. I almost want to file a class action lawsuit against that clown. I haven't seen people that misrepresented since the last time Lionel Hutz was in court.

10:32 - Bears D gets frosty and forces a third and 1 for the Pack. Ahman Green shuts everyone up with a 30 yard run. Stone silence in Chicago.

10:36 - Great camera work from that new overhead cam highlights Favre's TD pass to the back corner to Javon Walker. It shows that a little work is all you need from your receivers. That and some speed and good hands and determination. 31-16 Pack.

10:48 - That LL Cool J and Run DMC Dr. Pepper commercial makes me want to spit. At the end, instead of the traditional shout of "Run DMC and Jam Master Jay!" It is replaced by "Run DMC and Dr. Pepper!" Jam Master Jay is surely turning in his grave like so many wheels of steel. It's hard to rest in peace with that sort of crap churning around.

10:50 - Madden and Michaels have "fun" with the telestrator. I believe the old adage that it is harder to call a boring game than an exciting game. This game stinks, but at least Madden has reined it in a bit tonight.

10:51 - Ahman Green runs to 176 yards. He didn't get to 200, but what a game. Hopefully this will be the consistency he has lacked the last few years, especially when I don't play his owner.

10:53 - The requisite Bubba Franks one yard TD reception for the Packers tight end. Any yards from that guy is just gravy on the steak. Because you can't make a meal out of gravy. I've tried.

11:14 - Kordell on the TD dive. At least we know what the inside of the new Soldier Field looks like when its empty.