Week 5
10/16/09
Every industry has experts; those sages that dispense wisdom
and truth from atop the mountain. In philosophy these learned men
wear long, flowing robes and an equally lengthy beard is required.
In fantasy football, a backwards ball cap, clipboard of notes, and
half empty bottle of Coors Light is more likely. But are these guys
truly experts? Do they know any better than the rest of us schmucks?
Each week Analyzing the Experts will take aim at one or more of
these so-called oracles and find out…
With much sadness and disappointment, I must confirm the rumors
that AOL Fanhouse finally got their first win of the season. As
soon as I get my sarcasm groove going, each of my whipping boys
finally ekes out a win. Now I need to find a new clown to pick on.
Luckily, there are still a number of qualified candidates in our
herd of supposed Experts.
On the huge surprise front, our lackluster East division won
five out of seven matchups this week, shocking the almighty West.
We might have some competition after all. Or maybe it had more
to do with Sims-Walker being benched at the last second, the Giants’
Steve Smith somehow being our best receiver, and DeSean Jackson
disappearing against a horrible Tampa Bay secondary. As the talking
heads love to say, that’s why they play the games.
I received a number of emails this week. Most were asking me
for the line up our Experts were going to be ranking this week
as everyone wants to try their hand at beating up on the Experts.
I chalk that up to the less than stellar performance of our contestants
thus far. Our Experts are playing for respect now, because they
certainly aren’t getting any. I can’t score and publish
all of the individual rankings I received, but I will continue
to post the team in the FFToday
forums on Saturday. If you are all over it, go ahead and put
your ranks in there rather than adding them to my already overflowing
inbox. The Experts are forced to divulge their picks to the public,
so if you are going to talk smack, put it out there for everyone
to see and laugh at.
I also ran across an email defending the Experts. I was a bit
stunned, but thought it deserved an audience, after I fixed the
numerous misspellings and sorry Arkansas grammar. Remember –
spell check is your friend.
Concerned Reader: Isn’t it unfair to
post the owner’s score against the Experts? I mean, the
Experts post theirs way earlier and have to rank everyone. They
don’t get to do it Saturday afternoon for only twenty players.
My Response: Unfair? Possibly. Do I care? Not at all. The Experts
should have an unrivaled depth of knowledge and be putting in
a lot more time than individual owners. Fantasy Experts eat and
breathe football while collecting a paycheck for their advice.
If it sucks, that will be cheerfully pointed out, sometimes a
bit harshly. If it’s good, I’ll be the first to congratulate
them for a job well done. The Experts possible restrictions are
offset by their increased resources, including experience, knowledge,
time, and maybe some inside information.
Looking over the results to date, I’m a little dubious
about the inside information and starting to wonder about the
other things. Do they dash off their rankings in thirty minutes
on the way to a real job? Have they every played fantasy football?
In some cases, I suspect they spent a large part of their childhood
riding on the short bus and mastering finger painting.
This week’s team was sent in by Derek from Stockton, CA.
His team name is the Sokolov Snowchargers, which has something
to do with an online video game I had never heard of. Like our
Experts, Derek is playing for pride after getting owned by his
wife’s team last season. Let that be a lesson to everyone.
Never let your wife play fantasy football with you. If you win,
smack talk will likely be counterproductive to both a happy marriage
and your sex life, while she will make sure all your friends know
if she beats the snot out of you. I speak from hard-earned experience
gained a number of years ago that still casts a dark shadow over
my fantasy football career. It’s a painful kick to the groin
every time my wife starts a conversation with, “Do you remember
that game I beat you down to the tune of 159 to 34? That really
sucked for you….”
- QB: Cassel, Garrard, Ryan
- RB: Harrison, S. Jackson, Rice, Slaton
- WR: Boldin, Garcon, D. Jackson, Sims-Walker, Smith (NYG)
- TE: Celek, Fasano
- K: Feely, Janikowski, Reed
- Def: Broncos, Browns, Dolphins
No one carries three kickers or defenses unless its their first
year playing fantasy football and they like getting ridiculed,
but I wanted to see how our Experts would do with some more choices
in these often neglected areas. That was unfortunate as we will
see shortly. I started a trend last week and our owner this time
around sent in his rankings Saturday as well. Derek managed a
score of 76. On the surface, that doesn’t seem very inspiring.
However, it was once again a hurdle that many of our Experts couldn’t
overcome. Everyone keep
sending in your teams too. While I have a bunch sitting in
the hopper, most are five weeks old and many have only eight or
ten players on them. Current and deep teams will make my life
easier and that’s what this is all about, right? On to the
carnage….
Week Five’s Games
| Pick Color Codes |
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| Correct |
|
| Missed by: 1 |
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| Missed by: 2 |
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| Missed by: 3 |
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C
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S
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B
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G
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D.
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S
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W
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S
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Y
G |
C
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F
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F
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J
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B
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B
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D
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TPts |
| Correct |
2 |
3 |
1 |
4 |
3 |
1 |
2 |
2 |
3 |
4 |
5 |
1 |
2 |
1 |
1 |
3 |
2 |
2 |
1 |
3 |
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| Huddle |
1 |
3 |
2 |
3 |
1 |
2 |
4 |
3 |
4 |
1 |
2 |
5 |
1 |
2 |
2 |
NR |
1 |
|
|
|
72 |
| CBS |
3 |
2 |
1 |
2 |
4 |
3 |
1 |
2 |
5 |
1 |
3 |
4 |
1 |
NR |
2 |
NR |
1 |
2 |
NR |
1 |
74 |
|
Remember what I just said about that unimpressive 76 scored by the
team owner? Yeah, he would have beaten both of these clowns. The
receiver position was a complete mess and The Huddle managed one
correct pick. That’s right – one. I was a little bummed
after Huddle won last week, but I knew they would come through for
me this time around. One pick right – gotta love it. The Huddle
got eleven points (Experts’ average rounded down) for their
lack of defensive picks.
| |
C
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D.
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S
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W
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S
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G |
C
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F
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F
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J
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B
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B
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D
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p
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TPts |
| Correct |
2 |
3 |
1 |
4 |
3 |
1 |
2 |
2 |
3 |
4 |
5 |
1 |
2 |
1 |
1 |
3 |
2 |
2 |
1 |
3 |
|
| KFFL |
3 |
1 |
2 |
2 |
4 |
1 |
3 |
4 |
5 |
1 |
2 |
3 |
1 |
2 |
2 |
3 |
1 |
1 |
3 |
2 |
72 |
| FFToolbox |
3 |
1 |
2 |
4 |
2 |
3 |
1 |
3 |
5 |
2 |
4 |
1 |
1 |
2 |
2 |
3 |
1 |
3 |
2 |
1 |
78 |
|
It doesn’t get much better in our second matchup. FF Toolbox
correctly slotted Steve Smith, our only contestant to do so, and
that went a long way toward getting the win here. He’s our
first Expert to actually beat the owner, too. However, it still
wasn’t exactly a remarkable showing.
| |
C
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D.
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S
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W
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S
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C
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F
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F
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B
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D
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TPts |
| Correct |
2 |
3 |
1 |
4 |
3 |
1 |
2 |
2 |
3 |
4 |
5 |
1 |
2 |
1 |
1 |
3 |
2 |
2 |
1 |
3 |
|
| FFCafe |
3 |
2 |
1 |
4 |
3 |
2 |
1 |
1 |
5 |
2 |
4 |
3 |
1 |
2 |
1 |
2 |
3 |
1 |
3 |
2 |
80 |
| Yahoo! |
3 |
1 |
2 |
3 |
1 |
4 |
2 |
2 |
5 |
1 |
3 |
4 |
1 |
NR |
2 |
NR |
1 |
1 |
NR |
2 |
72 |
|
FF Cafe ended up with our second highest score of the week, being
pretty close at everything other than the receivers and Cleveland’s
defense. Yahoo! hated on Ray Rice and that cost them. Also, not
a single Expert got the two TEs correct. I thought someone might
go out on a limb and pick Fasano, but no luck.
| |
C
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C
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F
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B
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D
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p
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TPts |
| Correct |
2 |
3 |
1 |
4 |
3 |
1 |
2 |
2 |
3 |
4 |
5 |
1 |
2 |
1 |
1 |
3 |
2 |
2 |
1 |
3 |
|
| Rotoworld |
3 |
2 |
1 |
4 |
3 |
1 |
2 |
2 |
5 |
1 |
4 |
3 |
1 |
2 |
1 |
3 |
2 |
2 |
3 |
1 |
84 |
| FB
Guys |
2 |
1 |
3 |
3 |
2 |
1 |
4 |
2 |
5 |
1 |
4 |
3 |
1 |
2 |
2 |
3 |
1 |
3 |
2 |
1 |
76 |
|
Continuing their run, Rotoworld took down a strong Football Guys
team, easily scoring the most points this week. Rotoworld was one
of two Experts to properly rank the kickers and the only one to
get the running backs perfect. FB Guys was average and that just
wasn’t good enough this time around.
| |
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S
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S
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C
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F
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F
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B
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B
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D
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p
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TPts |
| Correct |
2 |
3 |
1 |
4 |
3 |
1 |
2 |
2 |
3 |
4 |
5 |
1 |
2 |
1 |
1 |
3 |
2 |
2 |
1 |
3 |
|
| AOL |
2 |
1 |
3 |
4 |
3 |
2 |
1 |
5 |
4 |
1 |
3 |
2 |
1 |
2 |
1 |
NR |
2 |
2 |
3 |
1 |
78 |
| FFToday |
3 |
1 |
2 |
4 |
1 |
2 |
3 |
4 |
5 |
1 |
3 |
2 |
1 |
2 |
2 |
3 |
1 |
|
|
|
74 |
|
As previously mentioned, AOL got their first win of the season in
ugly fashion. Neither team here did anything notable, scoring right
around the average. AOL just sucked a little bit less than FFToday.
AOL got the kickers right, balancing out their complete whiff on
Boldin while FFToday received their eleven points for defense just
like Huddle.
| |
C
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S
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W
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S
m
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C
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F
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F
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J
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B
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B
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D
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p
h
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s |
TPts |
| Correct |
2 |
3 |
1 |
4 |
3 |
1 |
2 |
2 |
3 |
4 |
5 |
1 |
2 |
1 |
1 |
3 |
2 |
2 |
1 |
3 |
|
| ESPN |
3 |
1 |
2 |
4 |
2 |
3 |
1 |
1 |
5 |
2 |
3 |
4 |
1 |
NR |
2 |
NR |
1 |
2 |
3 |
1 |
74 |
| FFSharks |
3 |
1 |
2 |
1 |
3 |
4 |
2 |
4 |
5 |
1 |
2 |
3 |
1 |
2 |
2 |
3 |
1 |
2 |
3 |
1 |
70 |
|
FF Sharks set the mark for abject futility this week, scoring only
70 points. Picking Harrison as the number one running back could
have been ballsy and brilliant, but ended up just being stupid.
ESPN gets the win by default.
| |
C
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G
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H
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R
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S
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B
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G
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D.
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S
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W
a
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S
m
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N
Y
G |
C
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F
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F
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J
a
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k
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k
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R
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B
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c
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B
r
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D
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p
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s |
TPts |
| Correct |
2 |
3 |
1 |
4 |
3 |
1 |
2 |
2 |
3 |
4 |
5 |
1 |
2 |
1 |
1 |
3 |
2 |
2 |
1 |
3 |
|
| Fox |
3 |
1 |
2 |
4 |
1 |
3 |
2 |
1 |
5 |
2 |
4 |
3 |
1 |
2 |
2 |
3 |
1 |
2 |
3 |
1 |
76 |
| NFL |
3 |
1 |
2 |
1 |
3 |
2 |
4 |
1 |
5 |
2 |
4 |
3 |
1 |
NR |
2 |
3 |
1 |
1 |
NR |
2 |
74 |
|
At least NFL Fantasy is staying true to themselves and continuing
to suck, although they only had two NR picks this time around. Another
selection of Harrison as top RB doomed them to continue a gloomy,
depressing, winless season. Fox would have lost to a good team.
| ATE Week 5
Standings - East |
| EAST |
Record |
Pts |
| Rotoworld |
3-2 |
406 |
| Fox |
2-2-1 |
404 |
| FF Cafe |
2-2-1 |
400 |
| ESPN |
2-1-2 |
369 |
| The Huddle |
2-3 |
394 |
| AOL |
1-3-1 |
396 |
| KFFL |
1-3-1 |
388 |
|
|
| ATE Week 5
Standings - West |
| WEST |
Record |
Pts |
| FF Toolbox |
4-0-1 |
416 |
| Football Guys |
4-1 |
406 |
| CBS |
4-0-1 |
398 |
| FF Sharks |
2-1-2 |
398 |
| Yahoo! |
1-4 |
396 |
| FF Today |
1-3-1 |
395 |
| NFL |
0-4-1 |
397 |
|
|
Five weeks into the competition and some teams are starting to separate
from the pack. In the East, Rotoworld is charging, but anyone can
catch them with a few good weeks (as unlikely as that may be). The
West has evolved into two tiers. FF Toolbox, Football Guys, and
CBS all have four wins and look to be cruising to the playoffs.
With no wins, NFL is pretty much toast, as it would take a miracle
for them to get back into contention. KFFL has managed the least
points, surprising me after so many readers requested them to be
part of the competition. It hasn’t just been a bad week or
two for them. They have quietly sucked every week
And once again our Experts faltered against the owner’s
picks. I guess I’ll have to add that in for next season’s
contest. It’s too much fun seeing how easy it is to beat
some of these chumps. Only four Experts bested the owner benchmark
this week with another two tying it. It’s hard to give very
high marks to our competitors when they don’t seem to be
doing any better than an Average Joe.
|
