LOOMING

Pulled groin for The Bus,
A scream of pain in the night--
Quick playoff exit.

IRONY

"No more bullcrap plays'"
says idiot Jim Haslett.
Saints miss the playoffs.

PROZAC

Can you help me out?
I need a prescription filled.
Last name is Turley.

MAKING BRADSHAW LOOK GOOD

CBS bore-fest:
Bonus points if you can tell
Cross and Nantz apart.

MNF RESPONSIVENESS

Dennis, Al or Dan
must have read my Stark haiku.
She's dressing hotter.

ROLLING STONE

Hi, I'm Randy Moss.
I give maximum effort
when I cash my check.

AND ANOTHER THING

Speaking of Randy,
will he get those braces off
sometime this decade?

CONFIDENCE

"In order to win
commit just five turnovers,"
says Rams coach Mike Martz.

EUPHORIA

Man, I'm desperate.
I need a bye-week RB.
Guess I'll take Bryson.

Well, folks, unless there is a reader outcry, I will put the haikus on the shelf for a while. Be back next week with the 2001 Fantasy Football Awards Banquet.

:: comments to tim wichmer