Groin Shot of the Week Candidates
Antowain Smith. During the week leading up to the much-hyped Bills-Patriots clash, Bills defensive co-ordinator Jerry Gray commented that Antowain Smith gave them a boatload of trouble in 2001. Uh, yeah, so shouldn't he receive a little extra attention this time around?

Brad Johnson. Just when we were so close to assembling the official Jon Gruden lynch mob, the offense comes alive and produces all of a sudden. The Vikings defense is like antibiotics to an ailing offense. The main beneficiary was Brad Johnson, who hit a career high 5 TD. Wasn't this guy really banged up just two weeks ago? Can I blame Rob Johnson for this somehow?

Tiki Barber. I can't believe my good fortune to play against the team in my league with Priest Holmes this week since Holmes is on a bye. What a break! As long as Tiki Barber doesn't have a big game, I should be fine. Doh! A 160+ yard and 2 TD performance is not what I had in mind.

Comments From The Couch
With the use of today's technology to run fantasy football leagues, it makes absolutely no sense to set a starting lineup deadline of more than say, 5 minutes before kickoff of the opening game. That said, who got burned by the most sought after free agent acquisition this past week, Ricky Williams (Colts version)? I go out to buy groceries, return 30 minutes before kickoff and my email is full of late breaking, "RW2 - pulled hamstring" reports. Perhaps it's better he doesn't make a name for himself just to avoid certain confusion with RW1.

Certainly Tom Brady deserves some praise this morning for scoring 4 TD and hitting 85% of his passes, but let's not go overboard. It doesn't take much of a QB to throw a 2-3 yard screen pass, letting the receivers do all the work rumbling down the field. That was essentially the play call all day long, and the Bills couldn't stop it for the life of them.

Bengals guarantee a win, and get it! Way to go out on a limb there and pick the Texans to finally show up against. Golf clap anyone? Now go back into hibernation for the rest of the season. I promise myself never to be even mildly optimistic about you clowns again.

The all bench team this week: QB Jon Kitna, RB LaMont Jordan, RB Mike Alstott, WR Travis Taylor, WR Chad Johnson and WR Tai Streets. It might be time for some wheeling and dealing before their 15 minutes expire.

Although they won in overtime, the 49ers did line up for a 27 yard game winning FG on the final play of regulation which Jose Cortez marched out and missed, badly. Man, kickers are annoying. You'd think in a country of 300 million people there would be at least 32 who could kick a FG from inside 30 yards with pretty much 100% accuracy. Too many times though we're finding this just isn't the case.

While my wife loathed the powder-blue throwback uniforms worn by the Chargers, I kind of liked them myself. Too bad I would never be caught dead in one after the whooping they received from the Jets. I wonder what the return policy is at the Chargers stadium pro shop?

Yesterday felt like a very blah football day to me for some reason. It could have been because every time I flipped channels I kept catching a glimpse of the Cowboys-Lions clash of the titans. I'm still yawning today just thinking about it.

And The Winner Is...
I sure would not want to ever get on Antowain Smith's bad side. Apparently revenge is a strong motivator for him and he has the memory of an elephant. Racking up 140+ yards and 3 TD, it's clear this former Bill sure took it personally when the team released him before the 2001 season. Smith wins the Groin Shot award for this week as a result.

:: comments to mike macgregor