Groin Shot of the Week Candidates
Tommy Maddox. Typically it is not as easy for a QB to make our candidate list as a RB or WR. Maddox went to town Sunday though with 473 yards passing (always nice to get that extra full quarter of play time) and 4 TD. Consulting various start-bench rankings going into week 10, Hines Ward was ranked high and Plaxico Burress was ranked high. Hmm...why again was Maddox ranked relatively low?

Marc Bulger. No Warner? No (well, limited) Faulk? No problem! Bulger ripped into the Chargers defense for 453 yards and 4 TD of his own Sunday, allowing a rare second QB to find his way into our top 3. To think after I mentioned earlier this season that I had Bulger stashed away on a couple dynasty teams, I actually received an email bashing me for it. Something to the effect of, "no wonder your teams are bad (whatever) holding this guy". Some people.

Isaac Bruce. Based on the above 2 QB selections, it figures our third slot had to go to one of their receivers. While Burress was a consideration, he had already figured to be an every week starter at this point. Bruce on the other hand had not been very reliable. Torry Holt was the man now, right? Hello! Bruce is back in business with 3 TD to celebrate his 30th birthday. Yeah, birthday. I forgot the always start your former studs on their birthday rule.

Comments From The Couch

• Leagues set up with big rosters but not very many starters are getting to be a pet peeve of mine. Example A: Start 2 WR of Derrick Mason, Curtis Conway, Lav Coles, Chad Johnson and Travis Taylor. Yeah, what are the chances I'm ever going to start the top 2 in a given week? Example B: Start 1 of Trent Green, Steve McNair and Tommy Maddox. Same problem. Note these are from the same 14 team league. Just the visual of my bench doubling the score of my starters gives me heartburn. Sometimes having fewer choices is a good thing.

• How about this for a radical idea: Different definitions of what constitutes possession on a catch depending on a player's position or size? For a big defensive lineman like Bryan Robinson, I thought he did pretty well trying to snag that thing. Let's say if a 300 lb guy can just keep the ball near his body and in the air for a couple seconds, we give it to him. Of course, then we're sure to have game delays for the weight challenges.

• I thought the Patriots had finally used up all of their horseshoes. Perhaps they swiped the ones the Bears used to have?

• Received a few emails for failing to mention Fred Taylor as a Groin Shot candidate last week. I did mention him however. The point on Taylor, which was really funny by the way, transcended the physical world to coincide with him registering a big fat zero in most fantasy scoring systems. See, it was there, but it wasn't, just like Taylor. Got it? Have I mentioned they've upped my meds at the clinic recently?

• Just so there is no confusion this week, Ahman Green and Marshall Faulk royally sucked for anyone relying on them for a win.

• The Packers have opened up a 5 game lead in their division. Kind of tough to not get a little complacent, but fortunately(?) they've suffered so many injuries the young replacement players are keen to make a name for themselves. This begs the question though, just how bloody horrible are the Lions, Vikings and Bears?

• I just don't understand the Colts. How can a team look so bad against mediocre teams and then explode against the Eagles? They face Dallas next week and I have no freaking clue what to expect.

• Ray Lucas is seriously screwing up Ricky Williams' value. Meanwhile Deuce McAllister registered another 2 TD. Yawn...

• Coach Mike Tice is going to sleep on it in deciding whether Daunte Culpepper or Todd Bouman will be the Vikings starting QB next week. It's not an easy choice. The team could use a change, but I'm just not sure about the vision of Bouman as a team leader sporting those curly blond locks under the back of his helmet.

• It's like I could read Marcel Shipp's mind yesterday. "Yes! I'm starting the second half and I'm doing great! If I can just score a TD they'll forget all about Thomas Jones...Doh! (fumble)...Okay, this time if I get this TD they'll...Doh! (fumble)...Well, this time as soon as Jake hands off I'm not fumbling...Doh!" I think we need a new award for blown opportunities to glory. Ricky Williams 2 last week. Shipp this week.

• The Ravens Ed Reed intercepted a pass and tried returning it for a TD, but prematurely celebrated and had the ball batted away from him. Remember Cowboys Leon Lett in the Super Bowl against the Bills? Same thing. Tough call on which is worse though. Lett's was in the biggest game of the year, but at least the score was well in their favor at the time. Ravens were tied at 7. I guess we'll still give it to Lett since no one watches the Bengals.

• The Chiefs-49ers game was a huge fantasy disappointment. Who do you want this week, Tommy Maddox flying solo or the combined score of Jeff Garcia, Trent Green, Priest Holmes, Terrell Owens and Tony Gonzalez?

• I guess I'd be remiss if I didn't say something about the first tie game since 1997. What is there to really say though? The Steelers line, "we know we didn't lose" is kind of weak. How about:

  Open end Heinz Field.
  No good for kicking field goal.
  Always try touchdown.

And The Winner Is...
The XFL might have been a complete joke, but the Steelers should send wrestling mogul Vince McMahon a big bouquet of flowers for helping showcase Maddox for them, who is apparently a perfect fit for their offense, and this week's Groin Shot winner.

:: comments to mike macgregor