Did you weather the storm or unleash the pain of a top (non-QB)
draft pick this week?
Groin Shot of the Week Candidates
LaDainian Tomlinson (4 PaYd, 141 RuYd,
39 ReYd, 1 PaTD, 1 RuTD, 1 ReTD) – With the 1st overall
pick in the annual Beer Is My Friend That Doesn’t Talk Back
fantasy football league draft, Lucky Buggers select ... LaDainian
Tomlinson! This stat line seems vaguely familiar. Oh yeah, Tomlinson
has already thrown a TD pass this year back in week 3. This week
he did change it up a little by hitting the David Patten trifecta
of a pass, rush and receive TD. He extended his NFL record to
18 consecutive games with a TD scored and became the first player
in NFL history to score 10 TD in each of his first 5 seasons (record
held for about 5 hours; see the next guy). Now the media is jumping
on the, “best ever?” storyline which we “broke”
(wink) back in week 3. Thank you, thank you. We like to stay ahead
of the curve here at FF Today HQ.
Shaun Alexander (141 Yd, 4 TD)
– With the 2nd pick in the draft, Shamrocks and Rabbit Feet
select ... Shaun Alexander! This stat line seems vaguely familiar.
Oh yeah, Alexander has already scored 4 TD in a game this season...
back in week 3?!? He became the second player in NFL history to
score 10 TD in each of his first 5 seasons. Weird. And again with
the Sunday Night Primetime game to show his stuff, just like he
did back in late September 2002 when the Vikings came to town.
Oh wait, that was 5 TD instead of 4. Whatever. Should fantasy
points scored against the Texans count full value anyway? I’m
thinking in their case every 2 TD should be 6 points instead of
every 1. It would make things a little more sporting.
Edgerrin James (143 Yd, 3 TD)
- With the 3rd pick in the draft, Indy Homer Horseshoes select...
Pey... ah, just kidding ... Edgerrin James! A pair of TD from
the 1, and another from the 8 yard line. Dominic Rhodes knocked
in another from the 1. This is the new look Colts, folks. They
run the ball until they can be stopped. No one has stopped them
yet. At 6-0 why mess with success?
Oh what the heck, one more...
Priest Holmes (18 RuYd, 100 ReYd,
2 TD) - With the 4th pick in the draft, Injury Risk Be
Damned selects Priest Holmes! This is me watching the halftime
stats update roll by: “Why is Larry Johnson mentioned as
top KC rusher with only 50 yards?” “Why is Johnson
the top rusher with only 50 yards?!?” OH! Whew. Holmes did
most of his damage through the air to the tune of 100 yards and
found the end zone twice. Nice.
No offense to Santana Moss’ great day, and others, but
how often do we see the top draft picks actually end up as the
top picks in a given week. Like... never! This was an odd week
because too many things happened the way they are supposed to.
Going forward, I’m superstitious we’re going to pay
for this somehow...
Fantasy Football Fathers Unite
Regular readers may wonder why FF In The Groin now comes out
Tuesday - often late Tuesday - instead of on Monday as in prior
years. Well, I’ve come to the difficult conclusion that
having young kids and kicking back watching football all day on
Sunday just doesn’t mix. It wasn’t too bad when there
was only one kid and she slept most of the time (left), but now
we’ve got this one (right) and the first one doesn’t
sleep all the time anymore.
So football takes second priority on Sundays. Everything is watched
on delay. While you non-Dads are watching the late Sunday game,
I’m just finishing up a 1:00 Eastern game. Then I start
into a 4:00 game if I can keep my eyes open, and the Sunday night
game tends to roll into Monday.
It is sometimes tough to avoid seeing the score, which is extremely
frustrating, but overall it gets the job done. I like to send
out a special thanks to tech nerds everywhere for developing the
PVR/DVR/TiVo recording systems. Without these it would make owning
an HD TV pretty depressing. Although, now I find even when I do
watch a live game I am instinctively thumbing the fast forward
button to skip the endless commercials.
Anyway, I did make a comment from the couch last week, “...if
there are any Dads out there who are able to successfully juggle
a pair of kids under 3 and still effectively manage their fantasy
football teams, I could use some tips right about now.”
What I should have said is, “still effectively manage their
fantasy football teams, update the stats database, write this
article, catch up on email, head off to my tax job, watch Smallville
and Lost (although interest is waning on Lost), upload Krueger’s
player projections and keep on top of the website, I could use
some tips...” That’s really what I meant. Hey, we’re
all busy I know. And thankfully some FF In The Groin readers contributed
with some tips to keep the family happy during football season.
Here is a sample (sorry I couldn’t reprint them all):
Mike, I don’t know whether to congratulate
you or offer my condolences so I’ll do both: Congratulations...
you poor bastard.
Three words for handling the kids for forty minutes at
a time, “Thomas the Train”. I have no idea why both
of my boys are mesmerized by different colored trains with faces
that talk without moving their mouths but, while it’s
on, there is complete silence in the house for precious moments
while I flip between games and check out my online scoring on
Now, like any good remedy there are drawbacks. A Thomas
the Train infatuation includes $20 videos, $15 small wooden
trains, $60 track systems, $40 bridges and buildings to add
to the system, and a $75 train table to keep all the pieces
in one place (That’s the all-white Wal-Mart table. The
trademarked Thomas table is $250 and it doesn’t even have
drawers). Of course this is all a small price to pay to enjoy
4 blissful months of our favorite number-crunching pastime.
And think of all the time you’ll have to do research while
they are playing with the trains!!
Good luck. - Juan
Thanks Juan. I was in IKEA about a month ago and saw some knock-off
Thomas train tracks which might save you a little coin. I’m
sure the kids will never fall for anything other than official
Thomas trains though.
Hey Mike. I have 3 girls age 6, 4, and 1, that keep
me running non-stop. I also am trying to manage 2 fantasy football
teams and be competitive! My best suggestion is lots of Barbies
and lots of naps. At least this will give you some free time to
analyze your matchups. But what the heck do I know? My teams are
4-1 and 1-4. I'm outnumbered at home and can't even get any time
on the throne to read the sports page. Best of luck!
Wishin’ for a boy! - Clark in Texas
I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who can’t
get any peace on the can (this is the kind of thing no one tells
you about before having kids), but for the love of God man don’t
have another one! If you are 0-for-3 now chances are it’s
all girls for you.
Brutal WRs, And Then Some...
From another comment I made last week, no one seemed to have
the now infamous trio of Andre Johnson, Michael Clayton and Charles
Rogers as their top 3 receivers, but there were some doozies which,
in all honesty, kind of made my stomach turn reading the emails.
If you feel bad about your team, check these out:
Mike, How's this for top 3 receivers? Andre Johnson,
Roy Williams, and Ashley Lelie. I think I'm starting Antonio Bryant
and Kevin Curtis every week from here on out. At least I had Curtis
in this week for Lelie. Did I mention that I had Ben Roethlisberger,
Julius Jones, and Deuce McAllister in the same lineup? At least
I still have Shayne Graham.
Thanks for listening. - Nick from Cincinnati
Taking solace in a kicker. Oh my...
I don't know how to prove it, but my three wide
receivers were Javon Walker, Andre Johnson, and Michael Clayton.
I don't need a prize, but some advice on which of the remaining
two (Johnson and Clayton) to keep would be amazing.
Clayton, but that is 50% a hunch and 50% wishful thinking at
Mike, I just read your article where you say that
you would love to see someone who has Johnson, Clayton, and Rogers
on their team. Well I don't quite have that trio but I'd like
to take you through the first 8 rounds of my draft for laughs:
1. Deuce McAllister
2. Marvin Harrison
3. Ahman Green
4. Darrell Jackson
5. Michael Clayton
6. Isaac Bruce
7. Travis Henry
8. Matt Hasselbeck
If I knew then what I know now and was challenged to put
together the worst team I could (taking players consistent with
their average draft position), I don't think I could pick a
This one takes the cake. I’m guessing you don’t get
bonus points for setting NFL records like Harrison did last night?
Thought not... You know, I’m looking at this and having
a tough time coming up with a worse draft myself already knowing
the results through 6 weeks!
Comments From The Couch
- Just a gut instinct, but I don't think Thomas Jones and Cedric
Benson are buddies or hang out away from the football complex.
- At this point, drafting Tony Gonzalez was worse than drafting
Javon Walker. Presumably at this point the Walker owners are
slotting in a replacement scoring some points. With Tony G.,
we just keep starting him thinking this is the week. We're almost
at the halfway point so he's going to have to have a hell of
a second half to achieve the 80-1,000-8 preseason projections
expected of him.
- Who picked up and started Patrick Pass this week? Anyone?
I actually did in one league which, to put in perspective is
a 16 team league starting 11 offensive players each week (max
4 RB). That is a lot of players so maybe starting Pass wasn't
that much of a reach in that unique case, but it still felt
good. Um... I'm not a Corey Dillon owner. Sorry guys. That had
to be the worst goose egg of the week to stomach.
- This had to be the worst week for game time injury decisions
I've seen in a long time. Still no one could have predicted
the Corey Dillon dressed but standing on the sidelines all game.
And Greg Jones going bonkers (relatively speaking; it was against
the Steelers) when Alvin Pearman started and looked good the
prior couple weeks. If ever there was evidence you need high-speed
Internet access at home, this past Sunday morning was it.
- Eli Manning to Jeremy Shockey late in the 4th quarter for
a score - better late than never to salvage something from a
game I thought had shootout potential. And apparently there
is no good replacement for Julius Jones.
- Hey, good stuff, my defense scored a TD this week. Oh, so
did everyone else's who I played against...
- Mark Brunell has risen from last year like a phoenix from
the ashes, and I'm still shaking my head trying to figure out
how he is doing it.
- Carolina does not seem like a Super Bowl favorite to me.
Every team they've played is 3-3 or worse (usually worse) and
they've pulled the last two, arguably last three, games out
of their ass.
- Carolina wasn't the only team pulling out late game heroics.
Its funny we can be so adamant about who the contenders are
(cough, cough, Atlanta) and about who the also-rans are (cough,
cough, Lions, Saints), yet we match them up and the result still
comes down to the wire. The next time you think about making
a large wager on a "sure thing" football game, might I suggest
a nice money market fund instead?
- I had a little chuckle that ESPN's Michael Irvin had to comment
on the Vikings' romp on the river story from last week. To his
credit, he didn't ignore that he took part in similar escapades
as a player, and he certainly nailed the fact the Vikings players
would have had a tough time concentrating on football. I'd say,
"stick a fork in these guys", yet remarkably they are only 1
game out of 1st place in their division.
- Bills are in 1st! Bills are in 1st! Bills are in 1st! Yeah,
it's a tie but nevertheless I'm going to enjoy it.
And The Winner Is…
Are random order pick drafts fair? Not this week. Not this week
by a long stretch. Sure 1 player shouldn’t make or break
a team, but to trot out a good lineup and then end up playing
some guy who posts a couple goose eggs but 1 player who scores
3 or 4 TDs, and lose the game, that is not fun. Auction drafts
people. Lets all take an oath to participate in more auction drafts
going forward. Then if you want to blow 60% of your cap on LT
you are more than welcome to, rather than leaving the team that
acquires him to random chance.
As for our weekly winner, I really could pick any of the top
3 (sorry Priest, tell your QB to smarten up and start finding
his TE). Let’s see... I have LT in 1 league. I have Edge
in 1 league. I do not have Alexander but actually survived his
onslaught in the “Patrick Pass” league mentioned above.
LT got the award in week 3. I think we’d better go with
Alexander given he chipped in an extra TD. Congrats Shaun. It’s
weeks like these you sure wonder where he and Edge will end up