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FF In The Groin
Week 5

Backups excelling. Player ejections. Penalties galore. Too many injuries to mention. It was quite a week I needed an extra day just to take it all in.

Groin Shot of the Week Candidates

Tatum Bell (127 RuYd, 2 TD) – And the RB carousel in Denver goes on, and on, and on. Please no one send me an email this week asking if they should start Bell, or trade for Bell, or trade Bell away, or drop Anderson or even change their team name from Anderson’s Aces to Bell’s Bullet Train. I don’t know. No one knows. Anyone who tells you they know what to expect from the Broncos running game is not being honest with themselves. And if you inexplicably played against Bell this past week, pretty much all you can do is curse.

Terry Glenn (7-118 ReYd, 2 TD) – The last 2 weeks the Eagles have sleepwalked through the early part of the ball game. And this week Terry Glenn took advantage big time scoring twice before most people found their way back to the couch from the kitchen with their early to late game snack. Snack of choice is turkey sandwich and cool ranch Doritos for me. Anyway, Glenn is turning into the steal of the draft (or waivers). Or maybe that is Drew Bledsoe, steal of the draft (or waivers). I can’t decide.

Packers Defense (4 sacks, 5 turnovers, 2 TD and 3 points allowed) – Who the heck played these guys this week? In the prior 4 games they’ve done next to nothing with 6 sacks, 2 turnovers, an average of 23 points allowed and looked absolutely dismal. Apparently “road weary” is a bit of an understatement for the Saints if they can make these guys look like what the Ravens were supposed to look like this year. And hey, I’ve been writing off the Packers since week 1, but given the state of the NFC North, the 1-4 Packers are right in the hunt for the division crown.

Comments From The Couch

  • Middle of last week upon receiving my opponent's lineup via email I think to myself: "Why the flip is someone starting Najeh Davenport against me?" Ah, I see. And playing the Saints no less. Nice timing.

  • For those of you whether suffering from the loss of Deuce McAllister or not, and wondering, "Do I pick up Antowain Smith, Aaron Stecker or Jesse Chatman off waivers?" Um... have you seen the Saints play this year?

  • I don't know much about Kevin Jones' personality, but pretty ballsy for the second year player who hasn't done much this year to perform the retro Deion Sanders end zone dance followed up by the Ray Lewis wing flap intro after his second TD. And he certainly proved one way to not only beat but humiliate the Ravens. Antagonize the heck out of them.

  • My best, last-minute start-bench move of the week: replace Andre Johnson with Antonio Bryant.

  • My worst, last-minute start-bench non-move of the week: in another league do not replace Brandon Lloyd with Antonio Bryant.

  • Did someone spike the Gatorade this week? There were more penalties and post-whistle pushing and shoving than I can remember in a long time. The Dolphins set a team record for penalties. A pair of Ravens got ejected and were 1 off the NFL record for penalties. Ronde Barber slugged a referee, but amazingly did not get ejected. If there is this much pent-up frustration in week 5 we may not make it to week 17.

  • That 45 yard catch, hurdle, plough through people and run for a TD by Daniel Graham was a thing of beauty.

  • Matt Schaub to Justin Griffith had to be the least fantasy useful TD of the week.

  • Heading into the week, 1-3 Tennessee vs. 0-3 Houston looked to be one of the more forgetful games on the schedule. Apparently Andre Johnson forgot there was a game on too. In fact, has someone woken up A.J. that the season is underway?

  • First person who sends me proof they drafted Andre Johnson, Michael Clayton and Charles Rogers as their top 3 receivers gets a prize. But then you open yourself up to some public humiliation too. Your choice.

  • Remember the NFL commercial where Peyton Manning held up a small fantasy football trophy and told us, "I play for this"? That was last year. With 1 TD to show against the 49ers, to Troy Walters of all people, I think Peyton has forgotten us.

  • Vinny! Vinny! Vinny! Anyone who started Curtis Martin this week... and lost... that had to feel like a real waste.

  • Watching the Redskins lose out on a safety after a Jake Plummer fumble into the end zone is reversed, I still don't understand the justification for the tuck rule. If you drop the ball, then it's a fumble. How hard is that?

  • The Eagles decided to kick into bye week mode a week early. It would have been nice if we had some hint of that prior to Sunday.

  • Joe Jurevicius looks like a stud receiver catching 9-137 and 1 TD. And this with D.J. Hackett starting opposite him. Just how bad is the Rams secondary? You'd think such a pass heavy team on offense over the years would consider the importance of pass defense a little more highly.

  • Check out our forums for all the latest injury updates. If I try to rehash it all here this article will be another 3 pages. Bad week.

  • So the Dolphins committed 5 turnovers and set a team record for penalties, and the Bills won by 6 points? Ah, screw it. A win over the 'Phins is great no matter how ugly. Time to usher in the Kelly Holcomb era!

  • My apologies for being a day late this week. Canadian Thanksgiving was partly to blame (mmm... turkey...) but for the most part, if there are any Dads out there who are able to successfully juggle a pair of kids under 3 and still effectively manage their fantasy football teams, I could use some tips right about now.

And The Winner Is…

Terry Glenn owners were probably at the very least starting him by now. Tatum Bell owners... not so much. Packers Defense owners? I’m guessing they are waiver material in 95% of leagues less than 16 teams, must hold 2 team defenses. Let’s give it to Glenn, one of those forever underappreciated receivers as opposed to Bell who was obviously extremely overvalued on draft day and still has a long way to go to justify his draft position for a lot of us.