Matt Hasselbeck (226 Yd, 4 TD) – For a team that can score at will against one of the worst teams in the league. For a team that has a RB chasing the record for rushing TDs in a season. For a team that completely stifled their prior week opponent with a shutout, and is playing against a rookie QB who apparently has never held an NFL size football before (rolling my eyes), why the flip is Hasselbeck playing bombs away here to the tune of 4 TDs?!? For the love of God Holmgren, get Alexander that record! NO! I just checked my schedule... do NOT get him the record this week. That’s a no-go on the Alexander Express. Keep it going with Hasselbeck until I get into week 16. Why do I feel this cry for help is falling on deaf ears?

Ryan Moats (114 Yd, 2 TD) – You know the old fantasy theory, draft from good offenses? Hard to believe way back in pre-season the Eagles qualified as one of those good offenses. And now, all of QB Donovan McNabb, RB Brian Westbrook and WR Terrell Owens are rehabbing, rehabbing, and, well, throwing himself a big birthday bash. At any rate, who was desperate enough at RB this week to pull Ryan Moats off the waiver wire? Uh oh, still looks like a RBBC to the max. Okay, who was desperate enough to start this guy? All 11 carries later Moats has a buck-ten in yardage plus a pair of TDs. I’ll bet the LaDainian Tomlinson owners out there who played against Moats this week weren’t expecting quite that result, now were they?

Chris Chambers (8-121, 2 TD) – This guy is starting to get on my nerves. I’m getting a bad Billy Volek-Drew Bennett déjà vu memory (shudder) from a year ago, without the Volek side of things as Chambers has excelled with 2 different QBs. And wouldn’t you know it, I face Chambers this week. Now I’m definitely getting a sinking feeling about Chambers. Remember when I banned any mention of Volek or Bennett on the forums last year? Expect more of the same next week! ... that is, if we can get our forums back up. Argh!

Comments From The Couch

• Down by 4 points with 2:09 remaining, crucial 4th-and-2 for the Cardinals from the Redskins 29 yard line. The absolute worst rushing team in the league. (Would you believe over 15 yards per game worse than the 31st ranked rushing team?) "You know Denny, I think we should run the ball here. You know, fool 'em."
  
  
• Texans tanking? If you aren't at least a little skeptical after witnessing that FG "attempt" (and I use that word loosely) by Kris Brown, then I don't think anything is going to convince you.
  
  
• For the current (or perennial, in the case of the Bills) lower echelon teams in the NFL, and the idea of tanking, it brings up an interesting question about whether, as fans, we should be okay with the fact our home team loses what amounts to a meaningless game so they can get a better rookie draft pick position next April. My motto has always been: Win you idiots... and draft better than the other teams no matter where you're picking from!
  
  
• Gado's forward pass Sunday night. Yeah, I think that was his intent. Seemed like I was rolling my eyes at a lot of the football I witnessed in week 14.
  
  
• I'm about done discussing the Bills in this column. I don't think I need to explain why.

And The Winner Is…

On the advice of our very own resident Gut Check, I drafted Ryan Moats as a late round flier for pretty much every one of my teams this year. He is no longer on any of those teams. Congrats on your first Groin award Mr. Moats.