| Week 12
 11/29/05
 
 “Playoffs? Don't talk about playoffs. Are you kidding me? 
              Playoffs? I'm just hoping we can win a game, another game.” 
              The infamous Jim Mora Sr. quote seems appropriate with the fantasy 
              playoffs bearing down on us.
 
 Groin Shot of the Week Candidates
 LaDainian Tomlinson (210+ Yd, 3 TD) 
                – Him again? He is basically the whole Chargers offense, 
                yet against a solid defense LT still manages to rack up tons of 
                yards, find the end zone twice in regulation and yada, yada, yada... 
                busts a long run in overtime for his third TD. Please refer to 
                my articles for weeks 3, 6 and 9 for prior Groin nominations this 
                season alone. Interesting enough I looked back at the prior season 
                archives and for whatever reason he didn’t get a single 
                nomination all year. But this season I’ve already said he 
                will be mentioned in the same league as all-time greats, Emmitt 
                Smith and Walter Payton. Nice of Emmitt and Terrell Davis to back 
                me up this week on NFL Total Access saying LT is the 
                best RB to ever play the game. Pretty sure they said to ever play. 
                Anyone confirm that for me? David Carr (293 PaYd, 39 RuYd, 3 TD) 
                - Now here is someone I think it is safe to say we have 
                never... ever... talked about... in a positive light. David Carr, 
                who started the 54th game of his NFL career Sunday, has thrown 
                for 3 TD exactly once before, in week 5 of 2004 against the Vikings. 
                Hmm... could have sworn James Brown said this was the first 3 
                TD game of his career during the highlights. I can tell the season 
                is getting in the latter stages when my memory starts to slip. 
                Exhaustion from the kids isn’t helping either. At any rate, 
                Carr throwing 3 TD happens about as often as our readers serve 
                sushi to their buddies while over watching football on Sunday, 
                so he makes the list. Joe Jurevicius (8-137, 2 TD) – 
                Joey J. is such a non-flashy player, for whatever reason he barely 
                registers with me whether I’m thinking about ranking players, 
                or discussing matchups, or even watching the game. I did in fact 
                watch most of the Giants-Seahawks game and I’m still looking 
                back at the stats going, “really, 2 TDs for Jurevicius? 
                I don’t remember that.” The jump ball was a nice grab. 
                I’m drawing a blank on the second one. There goes that memory 
                again. Considering however he has never in his 8-year career found 
                the end zone with such regularity it isn’t surprising he 
                continues to come in under the radar. Just when you thought it 
                was the All-Shaun, All The Time Show out west, Jurevicius owners 
                are walking a little taller and hoping Darrell Jackson keeps taking 
                his sweet time getting back on the field.
 Groin Mail
 
               Mike - I enjoy your FF in the Groin articles. One 
                note on your section regarding Ravens fans selling their tickets 
                to Steelers fan to make a point about the team's record: it is 
                somewhat inaccurate. I live three blocks from the stadium and 
                am a big fan of the team. Every year Ravens season ticket holders 
                sell their tickets to Steelers fans because they can get enough 
                money to pay for next year's season tickets. There are many people 
                in the Baltimore area from Pittsburgh, who incidentally went to 
                WVU, and they buy the tickets for an exorbitant amount of money. 
                So, its an every year thing that the media seemed to put an angle 
                on this year because of the corrosive situation that has seemed 
                to affected the team.
 Later, SAK
 Well that makes a lot more sense. I was pretty shocked when I 
                read that story. Probably one nut got quoted giving the whole 
                fan base a bad name. Thanks for setting me straight Chris. 
               Mike, I feel your pain man. I was VERY lucky to 
                pick up L Johnson, Edge James and Caddy Williams during the draft. 
                And, although I had a good WR Corp (ie: T.O., K. McCardell, and 
                Joey Galloway), in week 1, I was offered A. Gates for B. Griese 
                and J. Witten. Like a dope. I turned Gates down. If I had only 
                known. Can you imagine how strong my team would have been with 
                Antonio Gates? Now I have been stuck in fourth place for 5 weeks. 
                DANG! I could kick myself in the ...BUTTOCKS! 
                Your fan, Jim The groin, Jim. It’s FF in the GROIN. I think FF In the 
                Buttocks is on another fantasy website. 
               Hi Mike, Love your stuff. I read it every week on 
                the site. I'm a huge Bills fan as well and at least FF is allowing 
                me to enjoy some aspect of this season!  
                Anyway, I saw a comment on your latest post about a contract 
                  league that you are doing (i.e Larry Johnson has a 4yr-$7 contract). 
                  We have been talking about a contract league but weren't sure 
                  how to do the first year. Do you have an auction for high contract? 
                  If so how do you decide between a higher salary and longer contract? 
                  For example Lets say one person bids 4 yr-$30 contract for LT 
                  and another owner offers 3yr-$35 contract. Who would get the 
                  player? Any direction you could provide would be great. Thanks in advance and we can always look forward to next 
                  year!! Maybe Tom Donahoe will finally go for some linemen this 
                  offseason. Jerry One can only hope Tom wises up Jerry. As for the contract league, 
                have an auction similar to a redraft league (no mention of length 
                of contract at the time), and then set a date after the auction 
                by which each team must submit how long they want to sign the 
                player for (at the auction price). You can mandate some required 
                increases in the contract each subsequent year if a player is 
                signed to a multi-year deal, and maximum years per player and 
                perhaps maximum total years per team. I think this is the cleanest 
                way to do it so you aren’t measuring each and every contract. As an update to my prior sob story, Larry Johnson is now at #6 
                amongst RB in that league with 160 fantasy points. With his $7 
                contract I’ve earned 22.85 points per dollar. Tomlinson 
                on the other hand went for $72 at auction and has scored 248 points, 
                equating to only 3.44 points per dollar. I love auctions. 
               Mike, I feel your pain [about da Bills]... rebuild 
                this, rebuild that... it’s hard to swallow. Great site. 
                Keep up the good work.  
                Gair Well, at least we’re not Lions fans. Ah, I can only use 
                that so much.
 Comments From The Couch 
                 Returning of the Living Dead Receivers, starring... Andre 
                  Johnson and Marcus Robinson! 
 
 For anyone who hates kickers, such as myself, the week 12 
                  games were enough to make someone choke on their roast turkey 
                  Thursday, gag on the turkey Florentine Sunday and spit up the 
                  turkey gumbo Monday night. Billy "He's Back?" Cundiff blows 
                  the game for Dallas. Jay Feely blows the game for the Giants, 
                  missing 3 of 5 chances. Matt Bryant misses a chip shot. Jeff 
                  Reed misses a key opportunity to tie the Monday night game, 
                  and then whether the onside kick to start the second half was 
                  a bad idea or not, he executed one of the worst attempts I've 
                  ever seen. Kickers... 
 
 And not to mention, 5 different guys hit 4 FGs this week 
                  which from a fantasy perspective is a bad joke. Even dark horse 
                  fantasy MVP candidate Neil Rackers missed a FG from 43 yards. 
                  Now I know the world is coming to an end. 
 
 With the fantasy playoffs quickly approaching, get your league 
                  tie-breaker rules in order as soon as possible to save yourself 
                  a headache. I definitely favor total points as the first tie 
                  breaker, because head-to-head gets messy when there are 3 or 
                  more teams involved. When in doubt, you can always fall back 
                  on the NFL 
                  rules to guide you. 
 
 Chad Johnson's TD celebration: Innovative; humorous; good 
                  use of props. I'll give him a 9.0 on a 10 point scale. Now if 
                  we could just get Tiger Woods to do a little Riverdance after 
                  sinking the final putt to win a tournament, then that would 
                  really be something. 
 
 If FF Today ever needed a mascot, then I nominate Waldman's 
                  cat. Tough enough to take on a car. Dense enough to take 
                  on... a car. Sounds perfect for the job! 
 
 Tom Brady throws 4 INTs against what is typically a poor 
                  pass defense. The Rams third QB Ryan Fitzpatrick, who has never 
                  thrown a pass in an NFL game before, and comes from Harvard, 
                  directs a huge second half come from behind victory. Yep, this 
                  season is topsy-turvy... just like every other season... 
 
 How many points did you score in OT this week? Between any 
                  of LT, Kevin Curtis, Tiki Barber and others, you should have 
                  done really well in the games stretched beyond 60 minutes. 
 
 How many points did you lose on blown calls? Jeremy Shockey, 
                  Laveranues Coles... The NFL has apparently apologized to the 
                  Seahawks for both the Shockey and Amani Toomer TDs. The Toomer 
                  one was a great catch. I'm not sure how the NFL questions the 
                  non-reversal of that call.
 
 I didn't hear if they admitted it or not, but FOX had to 
                  have planned getting the people in the box at the Seahawks game 
                  to wear orange jump suits so they could promote the show Prison 
                  Break. I've been telling my wife for a few weeks now as soon 
                  as Gary Hogeboom gets the boot from Survivor, CBS won't have 
                  as easy a time promoting the show during football. The former 
                  Colts QB was the Survivor poster-child during their football 
                  broadcasts. Of course they could easily compensate with more 
                  Stephenie shots. 
 
 If you didn't think home field was that big of an advantage, 
                  this week proved otherwise. There were so many false start penalties 
                  by the Giants and Steelers I was starting to get twitchy myself.
 
 Having lost Marc Bulger in a deep dynasty league I was down 
                  to one healthy starting QB, Drew Brees, heading into this week. 
                  Now I apparently have 3 healthy starters - Brees, David Garrard 
                  and Ryan Fitzpatrick. Yes, there is such a thing as a league 
                  being too deep. 
 
 Rolling Stones to perform the Super Bowl halftime show. Hmm... 
                  Is anyone planning another Lingerie Bowl halftime pay-per-view 
                  event? 
 
 I can't believe I almost forgot about Ron Dayne! What a game, 
                  by Dayne! And is he the most soft-spoken guy in the NFL? I think 
                  anyone else would have passed on Phil Simms' mommas' ... what 
                  the heck was it? It looked like black goo, even in HD. 
 
 And what else is there to say about the Detroit game? An 
                  absolutely horrible display of coaching on the Lions side. I 
                  haven't watched Detroit all year (thank God), but it didn't 
                  take long to form an opinion that Steve Mariucci had definitely 
                  worn out his welcome. The team has absolutely no identity. Interesting 
                  to note that the opposing coaches - Jim Mora, Jr. and Greg Knapp 
                  used to work as defensive and offensive coordinators under Mariucci 
                  for the 49ers. It makes you wonder who really was responsible 
                  for the 49ers first go around pulling themselves out of cap 
                  hell and back to respectability. 
 
 Buffalo played pretty decently Sunday even though every time 
                  I heard mention of hopes for the playoffs I felt my stomach 
                  doing cartwheels (damn that sushi!). Losman: he impressed me 
                  enough to have more optimism about his development than I ever 
                  have before. But offsetting that, Carolina just does not look 
                  as good as they are cracked up to be. A Super Bowl favorite 
                  back in the pre-season, I can see them being on the outside 
                  looking in when the regular season comes to an end. 
               And The Winner Is… I think with the Houston Texans’ collapse, the inevitable 
                changing of the guard at the head coach position, and them starring 
                down the #1 overall pick who could be USC QB Matt Leinhart (considering 
                a new coach always wants to start fresh like that), we may never 
                see David Carr again. Heck, it took him 54 games to make the top 
                3 once. We’d better give it to him now while the gettin’ 
                is good. Joe who? See, I always forget that guy...
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