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FF In The Groin
Week 12

“Playoffs? Don't talk about playoffs. Are you kidding me? Playoffs? I'm just hoping we can win a game, another game.” The infamous Jim Mora Sr. quote seems appropriate with the fantasy playoffs bearing down on us.

Groin Shot of the Week Candidates

LaDainian Tomlinson (210+ Yd, 3 TD) – Him again? He is basically the whole Chargers offense, yet against a solid defense LT still manages to rack up tons of yards, find the end zone twice in regulation and yada, yada, yada... busts a long run in overtime for his third TD. Please refer to my articles for weeks 3, 6 and 9 for prior Groin nominations this season alone. Interesting enough I looked back at the prior season archives and for whatever reason he didn’t get a single nomination all year. But this season I’ve already said he will be mentioned in the same league as all-time greats, Emmitt Smith and Walter Payton. Nice of Emmitt and Terrell Davis to back me up this week on NFL Total Access saying LT is the best RB to ever play the game. Pretty sure they said to ever play. Anyone confirm that for me?

David Carr (293 PaYd, 39 RuYd, 3 TD) - Now here is someone I think it is safe to say we have never... ever... talked about... in a positive light. David Carr, who started the 54th game of his NFL career Sunday, has thrown for 3 TD exactly once before, in week 5 of 2004 against the Vikings. Hmm... could have sworn James Brown said this was the first 3 TD game of his career during the highlights. I can tell the season is getting in the latter stages when my memory starts to slip. Exhaustion from the kids isn’t helping either. At any rate, Carr throwing 3 TD happens about as often as our readers serve sushi to their buddies while over watching football on Sunday, so he makes the list.

Joe Jurevicius (8-137, 2 TD) – Joey J. is such a non-flashy player, for whatever reason he barely registers with me whether I’m thinking about ranking players, or discussing matchups, or even watching the game. I did in fact watch most of the Giants-Seahawks game and I’m still looking back at the stats going, “really, 2 TDs for Jurevicius? I don’t remember that.” The jump ball was a nice grab. I’m drawing a blank on the second one. There goes that memory again. Considering however he has never in his 8-year career found the end zone with such regularity it isn’t surprising he continues to come in under the radar. Just when you thought it was the All-Shaun, All The Time Show out west, Jurevicius owners are walking a little taller and hoping Darrell Jackson keeps taking his sweet time getting back on the field.

Groin Mail

Mike - I enjoy your FF in the Groin articles. One note on your section regarding Ravens fans selling their tickets to Steelers fan to make a point about the team's record: it is somewhat inaccurate. I live three blocks from the stadium and am a big fan of the team. Every year Ravens season ticket holders sell their tickets to Steelers fans because they can get enough money to pay for next year's season tickets. There are many people in the Baltimore area from Pittsburgh, who incidentally went to WVU, and they buy the tickets for an exorbitant amount of money. So, its an every year thing that the media seemed to put an angle on this year because of the corrosive situation that has seemed to affected the team.

Later, SAK

Well that makes a lot more sense. I was pretty shocked when I read that story. Probably one nut got quoted giving the whole fan base a bad name. Thanks for setting me straight Chris.

Mike, I feel your pain man. I was VERY lucky to pick up L Johnson, Edge James and Caddy Williams during the draft. And, although I had a good WR Corp (ie: T.O., K. McCardell, and Joey Galloway), in week 1, I was offered A. Gates for B. Griese and J. Witten. Like a dope. I turned Gates down. If I had only known. Can you imagine how strong my team would have been with Antonio Gates? Now I have been stuck in fourth place for 5 weeks. DANG! I could kick myself in the ...BUTTOCKS!

Your fan, Jim

The groin, Jim. It’s FF in the GROIN. I think FF In the Buttocks is on another fantasy website.

Hi Mike, Love your stuff. I read it every week on the site. I'm a huge Bills fan as well and at least FF is allowing me to enjoy some aspect of this season!

Anyway, I saw a comment on your latest post about a contract league that you are doing (i.e Larry Johnson has a 4yr-$7 contract). We have been talking about a contract league but weren't sure how to do the first year. Do you have an auction for high contract? If so how do you decide between a higher salary and longer contract? For example Lets say one person bids 4 yr-$30 contract for LT and another owner offers 3yr-$35 contract. Who would get the player? Any direction you could provide would be great.

Thanks in advance and we can always look forward to next year!! Maybe Tom Donahoe will finally go for some linemen this offseason.


One can only hope Tom wises up Jerry. As for the contract league, have an auction similar to a redraft league (no mention of length of contract at the time), and then set a date after the auction by which each team must submit how long they want to sign the player for (at the auction price). You can mandate some required increases in the contract each subsequent year if a player is signed to a multi-year deal, and maximum years per player and perhaps maximum total years per team. I think this is the cleanest way to do it so you aren’t measuring each and every contract.

As an update to my prior sob story, Larry Johnson is now at #6 amongst RB in that league with 160 fantasy points. With his $7 contract I’ve earned 22.85 points per dollar. Tomlinson on the other hand went for $72 at auction and has scored 248 points, equating to only 3.44 points per dollar. I love auctions.

Mike, I feel your pain [about da Bills]... rebuild this, rebuild that... it’s hard to swallow. Great site. Keep up the good work.


Well, at least we’re not Lions fans. Ah, I can only use that so much.

Comments From The Couch

  • Returning of the Living Dead Receivers, starring... Andre Johnson and Marcus Robinson!

  • For anyone who hates kickers, such as myself, the week 12 games were enough to make someone choke on their roast turkey Thursday, gag on the turkey Florentine Sunday and spit up the turkey gumbo Monday night. Billy "He's Back?" Cundiff blows the game for Dallas. Jay Feely blows the game for the Giants, missing 3 of 5 chances. Matt Bryant misses a chip shot. Jeff Reed misses a key opportunity to tie the Monday night game, and then whether the onside kick to start the second half was a bad idea or not, he executed one of the worst attempts I've ever seen. Kickers...

  • And not to mention, 5 different guys hit 4 FGs this week which from a fantasy perspective is a bad joke. Even dark horse fantasy MVP candidate Neil Rackers missed a FG from 43 yards. Now I know the world is coming to an end.

  • With the fantasy playoffs quickly approaching, get your league tie-breaker rules in order as soon as possible to save yourself a headache. I definitely favor total points as the first tie breaker, because head-to-head gets messy when there are 3 or more teams involved. When in doubt, you can always fall back on the NFL rules to guide you.

  • Chad Johnson's TD celebration: Innovative; humorous; good use of props. I'll give him a 9.0 on a 10 point scale. Now if we could just get Tiger Woods to do a little Riverdance after sinking the final putt to win a tournament, then that would really be something.

  • If FF Today ever needed a mascot, then I nominate Waldman's cat. Tough enough to take on a car. Dense enough to take on... a car. Sounds perfect for the job!

  • Tom Brady throws 4 INTs against what is typically a poor pass defense. The Rams third QB Ryan Fitzpatrick, who has never thrown a pass in an NFL game before, and comes from Harvard, directs a huge second half come from behind victory. Yep, this season is topsy-turvy... just like every other season...

  • How many points did you score in OT this week? Between any of LT, Kevin Curtis, Tiki Barber and others, you should have done really well in the games stretched beyond 60 minutes.

  • How many points did you lose on blown calls? Jeremy Shockey, Laveranues Coles... The NFL has apparently apologized to the Seahawks for both the Shockey and Amani Toomer TDs. The Toomer one was a great catch. I'm not sure how the NFL questions the non-reversal of that call.

  • I didn't hear if they admitted it or not, but FOX had to have planned getting the people in the box at the Seahawks game to wear orange jump suits so they could promote the show Prison Break. I've been telling my wife for a few weeks now as soon as Gary Hogeboom gets the boot from Survivor, CBS won't have as easy a time promoting the show during football. The former Colts QB was the Survivor poster-child during their football broadcasts. Of course they could easily compensate with more Stephenie shots.

  • If you didn't think home field was that big of an advantage, this week proved otherwise. There were so many false start penalties by the Giants and Steelers I was starting to get twitchy myself.

  • Having lost Marc Bulger in a deep dynasty league I was down to one healthy starting QB, Drew Brees, heading into this week. Now I apparently have 3 healthy starters - Brees, David Garrard and Ryan Fitzpatrick. Yes, there is such a thing as a league being too deep.

  • Rolling Stones to perform the Super Bowl halftime show. Hmm... Is anyone planning another Lingerie Bowl halftime pay-per-view event?

  • I can't believe I almost forgot about Ron Dayne! What a game, by Dayne! And is he the most soft-spoken guy in the NFL? I think anyone else would have passed on Phil Simms' mommas' ... what the heck was it? It looked like black goo, even in HD.

  • And what else is there to say about the Detroit game? An absolutely horrible display of coaching on the Lions side. I haven't watched Detroit all year (thank God), but it didn't take long to form an opinion that Steve Mariucci had definitely worn out his welcome. The team has absolutely no identity. Interesting to note that the opposing coaches - Jim Mora, Jr. and Greg Knapp used to work as defensive and offensive coordinators under Mariucci for the 49ers. It makes you wonder who really was responsible for the 49ers first go around pulling themselves out of cap hell and back to respectability.

  • Buffalo played pretty decently Sunday even though every time I heard mention of hopes for the playoffs I felt my stomach doing cartwheels (damn that sushi!). Losman: he impressed me enough to have more optimism about his development than I ever have before. But offsetting that, Carolina just does not look as good as they are cracked up to be. A Super Bowl favorite back in the pre-season, I can see them being on the outside looking in when the regular season comes to an end.

And The Winner Is…

I think with the Houston Texans’ collapse, the inevitable changing of the guard at the head coach position, and them starring down the #1 overall pick who could be USC QB Matt Leinhart (considering a new coach always wants to start fresh like that), we may never see David Carr again. Heck, it took him 54 games to make the top 3 once. We’d better give it to him now while the gettin’ is good. Joe who? See, I always forget that guy...