FFITG is back! Thanks for the condolences from last week. Might
need to keep them coming this week!
Groin Shot of the Week Candidates
Billy Volek (492 PaYd, 4 TD) and Drew
Bennett (13-160, 2 TD) - Oh, you have got to be kidding.
These guys? Again?!? Yep, the same pair that knocked me out of
not one, but two wild-card playoff games a week ago. The same
pair that wiped out any hope of me recovering from my week 14
Sunday illness (thanks to all who sent their condolences) and
completely shut down FF In The Groin last week. The same pair
whose names were officially banned from the FF Today Forums for
an entire day last Tuesday. Ha, ha. That was a pretty good one.
I feel some more bans are in order!
Kerry Collins (371 PaYd, 5 TD) and
Jerry Porter (8-148, 3 TD) - Did the defense even show
up, for either team? Apparently not. I think Kerry Collins might
be the best QB in the league...against bad defenses in meaningless
games. And Jerry Porter wants to showcase himself for a one-way
ticket out of Oakland. He is doing a good job of that, but I won't
be fooled when it comes to ranking you next year Jerry. Just where
were you through the first 10 games scoring 1 TD before you responded
with 7 TD in the last 4 games? Let's say, hypothetically, that
some team does give you a big contract? Once the money is in the
bank how can I possibly trust you have motivation to perform?
Riddle me that one Mr. Porter.
Larry Johnson (30-151, 2 TD) -
Former 2,000 yard Penn State rusher who sat in Dick Vermeil's
dog house ever since he was drafted. Honestly, I don't think Vermeil
had anything (or at least very much) against L.J. personally,
but just completely disagreed with the draft choice when the team
badly needed defensive help. If that is the case, then the coach
didn't handle it the right way, even though he did later apologize.
The diaper is certainly off now with a huge performance in his
first ever start. After witnessing that performance I've got much
higher expectations for daughter Megan the first time we get her
out of her diapers.
Nate Burleson (5-134, 2 TD) -
Daunte Culpepper had his best game in over a month, a week after
I got bounced from the playoffs in the Red Eye league where I
owned him (Volek!). Marcus Robinson has been pretty much useless
ever since I traded for him back at mid-season. Hmm... who can
I focus my frustration on for these things? A-ha! Burleson! What
exactly is the big idea having the best game of your career in
week 15? It's the fantasy playoffs man! Damn, these NFL players
just don't get it, do they?
Comments From The Couch
- With the performances that players like Volek, Collins, Bennett,
and Porter have been having in recent weeks, consider it a strong
reminder to not just look at year-end totals heading into next
year's draft prep.
- Of course, something else we can learn from these players
is that doing much draft prep can seem like an utterly useless
exercise. Can you say, "waiver wire"?
- Bonnie Berstein interviewing Jerome Bettis: "We can't
just show up and expect to win." Too true Jerome, too true.
Giants opening kickoff is a TD return by Willie Ponder. I love
when that happens.
- Jim Nantz: "The Giants have not recorded an interception
in 6 games." Next play: Interception, Frank Walker. Was
this game scripted?
- Have you ever seen a team celebrate as much as the Giants
did early in the ball game after each of the above noted plays?
That much enthusiasm really puts some understanding into how
down the players have been since their season collapsed after
a 5-2 start.
- As much as I'd like to know what the heck is going on with
Andre Johnson, it didn't take much convincing myself to skip
right by a ball game between two non-playoff teams and a 7-5
score early in the 4th quarter.
- I think half my players fumbled this weekend. Small hands?
Cold weather? I don't get it but ironically, the players that
did fumble all seemed to be in the leagues that deduct points
for losing the ball. I smell conspiracy.
- While I'm sure very little surprises them anymore, Lions
fans still had to be shaking their heads at the bobbled snap
on the single point attempt resulting in a 28-27 loss to the
Vikings instead of sending the game into overtime. Vikings fans
are sure to be shaking their heads all off-season if that play
ends up saving Mike Tice's job.
- Talk about some wacky plays this week. Exhibit A: An apparent
incomplete pass by Byron Leftwich picked up by his lineman,
Darren Sharper is the only one who realizes it was a fumble
so he runs in, knocks the ball away and returns it for a TD.
- Exhibit B: Opening kickoff of the Saints-Bucs game, return
man Aaron Stecker slips (does that not sum up the entire Saints
organization?), the ball squirts through his legs, but he miraculously
runs back, picks it up and returns it for a TD.
- How is St. Louis still not eliminated from playoff contention?
Please just put them out of their misery. Absolutely horrible.
And who got burned on Shaun Alexander's 3 rushing attempts inside
the 3 yard line which finished off with a fumble into the end
zone? Can Arizona still win the division? Because if they can
I'm pulling for them.
- Who are these people attending the Browns game in a
snow storm, and why are they punishing themselves like that?
- I understand the Broncos picked up the 2005 option on
Jake Plummer. Good luck with that Denver.
- After witnessing the Chiefs defense against the Titans
last Monday night, and the Broncos only mustering a measly 17
points really puts some tarnish on that whole "Shanahan offensive
- It's nice to see I didn't give up one guys like Larry
Fitzgerald, Brandon Lloyd and Santana Moss, as they are all still
on numerous rosters, but do you think I can trust them to actually
start them at this point? Not bloody likely!
- "Psst! Mike! Terrell Owens went down and probably won't
play next week." "Ah, crap. You - Fitz, Lloyd and
little Moss, time for a little rock-paper-scissors because one
of you guys is starting next week for the title."
- The Ravens decision to take the FG off the board and accept
the Colts penalty for a 4th-and-4 turned TD to Todd Heap might
have just killed me in one league. And another top scoring team
in the regular season (by a healthy 10 points per game average
I might add) bites the dust.
- So how many IDP players out there needed that Cato June interception
return for a TD? Went out of bounds. Please...
- Best "Mic'd Up" ever during the Sunday night game.
Ed Reed totally annihilates a Colts player after which he says
something like, "how'd you like that boy!" I think
I'm going to use that the next time I lay someone out in a soccer
- I realize you're not supposed to lay someone out in soccer,
but what can I say. I play with all the finesse of a bull in
a china shop and an occasional yellow card is hardly a deterrent
for the opportunity to get rid of some of life's frustrations
from time to time. FF In The Groin doesn't always do the trick
for my fantasy football frustrations, and soccer is conveniently
played on Tuesdays.
- So I watched Ricky Williams on 60 Minutes. It seemed like
a lot more hype over him breaking the silence then substance
or wow factor in that interview. So he's on drugs and doesn't
want to play football anymore. I don't know why but I thought
I was going to learn something I didn't already know.
- MSN.com (no, I've never changed my default IE start up page)
had a feature on Saturday which apparently came from The Sporting
News naming Brian Urlacher the most overrated player in the
NFL. I guess the writer forgot the factoid the Bears are 0-4
without Urlacher in the lineup this season. Whoops, make that
- Congrats to the Chargers. Do not write these guys off when
you fill in your playoff pool sheet.
- Bills win! Bills win! Bills win! That was actually a
lot easier than I thought it would be, especially considering
Willis McGahee's poor stats which is bringing me down to the wire
in one playoff game to be decided tonight. Bring on the 49ers!
(I love this schedule.)
Long Distance Dedication
What a first post by movieguru22 on our Forums:
My team leads by .50 point with 5 minutes to go in
the Ravens-Colts game, my opponent has Mike Vanderjagt, and the
following 4 events happen (keep in mind an extra point or field
goal of any length leads to my defeat):
1. Vanderjagt misses a 33 yard attempt.
2. On 4th and 3, Boller has a ball deflected and then caught
by Lewis who runs over 3 guys to get a first down, which keeps
the ball away from Indy.
3. On 4th and 2, Boller throws an interception which Cato
June runs back 80 yards for an apparent TD, and of course an
extra point by Vanderjagt. But hold on, for some reason, with
no one around him, he steps out of bounds at the 3!
4. With the ball on the 3 Tony Dungy decides to down the
ball instead of going for the record tying TD by Manning which
would have led to an extra point by Vanderjagt.
On to the Championship game!!!
This dedication goes out to the person out there playing against
movieguru22 this week who took the loss. I can just imagine the
agony being on the other end of these plays watching it unfold.
That is the true essence of FF In The Groin.
And The Winner Is
If this was a 2 or 3 week award it would no doubt go to the Volek-Bennett
hookup, but since it is only a 1 week award we'll pass on them
and hand it to Collins-Porter (although it wouldn't surprise me
if the extra yards and receptions more than made up for the higher
TD totals). Volek and Bennett caused enough frustration last week
the sooner I forget them the better.