6/19/10
Everything from seemingly harmless trash-talk to underhanded
collusion can cause hard feelings among owners… and even
divide an entire league. Whether you’ve been the accused,
the betrayed, or just an innocent bystander wondering which side
to take, this column is for you. E-mail
the Devil's Advocate with a description of the controversy
brewing in your league (or a potentially unpopular move you’re
about to make), and I’ll give one of those emails an outsider’s
viewpoint in a future column. Maybe you’re right, maybe
you’re wrong; there are always two sides to a controversy.
Both sides will be explored in hopes of finding some middle ground
that helps you, and that any league can use to bolster its rules
and maintain that rogue ownership that makes fantasy sports all
the more entertaining.
Proxy Moxy
The last “Devil’s Advocate”
laid some foundation for the question of who really owns your team.
This time around it’s about putting the team you
own into the hands of someone else—on the most important date
of the fantasy calendar. Any league of considerable size (or with
owners at a considerable distance) has probably experienced a draft
with absentees. Unless that league is well-versed in tough love,
someone else is allowed to step in to draft for the missing owner.
As a select few begin to grind their teeth at that thought, let’s
take a look at…
“the benefits and pitfalls of using a
proxy during your football draft. The Commish, [the] team owner
using a proxy, and the rest of the league…can all have different
perceptions on this tactic. I've been in leagues where people likened
it to bringing in a "ringer." And in other leagues, people
felt it was a disadvantage to the team owner.”
The Guardian Angel
Your commish has just accomplished the greatest feat in fantasy
sports. No, not a championship three-peat. He’s actually come
up with a draft date that works for everyone. And then something
comes up. Hey, it happens. We all have lives outside of fantasy
football. What can you do? Well, if you must miss the draft, ask
a fellow league owner to draft for you. They have a vested interest
in the purity of the league, plus other owners already know them.
Bringing in an outsider can lead to accusations of bringing in a
ringer, and that can taint the entire draft. It’s your team;
build it with your own expertise. Give a fellow owner a list and
a “thank you,” and leave the rest to fate.
The Fallen Angel
A lot of arm-twisting goes into setting up the draft date, and you
need to honor your commitment to that date. If it’s truly
impossible for you to make the draft, don’t bother other owners
by asking them to draft for you. They have their own teams to worry
about. Besides, can you really trust a rival owner? Get an outsider
who knows their stuff to take your place. Maybe even get someone
who can draft better than you could. No harm in that. That’s
just good business. Not much different from asking a knowledgeable
friend or co-worker for fantasy advice. And the more, the merrier,
right?
Here on Earth…
An owner is not bringing in a “ringer” unless he’s
summoning Barry Sanders from Week 7 of 1997 and actually putting
him on the field to pick up those stats. He’s merely hiring
the right staff. So you suck at drafting. Okay. That’s shameful
for sure, but what can you do? I say call up Mel Kiper if you’ve
got that kind of clout. But at least let the commish know so he
can prepare the league (and the headrest of his La-Z-Boy with some
plastic wrap). Chances are that Kiper will be booed away; one of
your partially inebriated buddies will likely not.
In some more realistic scenarios, an owner can’t make it to
the draft simply because he now lives 400 miles away, or his hamster
needs emergency surgery, or his better half thinks fantasy football
is dumb, or he even, somehow, still has a job and has to unexpectedly
work the weekend. These things happen, and every owner in your league
will, I would hope, have the human compassion to recognize that.
Or at least the sense to hold their tongues.
The proxy will probably show up early, find a corner in which to
keep his mouth shut, take some clandestine phone calls, and ultimately
pick his owner an awful team. If he’s got a list to follow,
he’ll initiate a few waves but miss the rest and end up picking
most positions late. He’ll run out of running backs by the
seventh round. He’ll be picking second-stringers as starters
an hour before the draft is over. If he’s there to excel rather
than just sit in, don’t worry. He has no concept of how other
owners in your league draft, and that is the key to getting who
you want. At the very worst, his draft will be well-wrought and
level-headed and he’ll walk away with a solid team. Even then,
some of his decent picks are bound to hit free agency before the
season even starts. No matter the owner, they want their team, not
someone else’s.
On a side note: If you are a proxy who was given “The List,”
go by that list! Unless you’re specifically asked to make
executive decisions, don’t. Not only do you put another owner’s
team at risk by second-guessing his picks, you put yourself at risk
by making a bad call. Furthermore, if you’re a friendly proxy
for someone in your own league, there’s always that tiny urge
(the devil creeping back in perhaps?) to get the players you want
for yourself. Don’t let your subconscious trick you into that.
Finish his draft by picking five consecutive kickers if that’s
how poorly his list was written. But follow the list.
Though it’s usually a disadvantage every owner should avoid,
there’s nothing ethically wrong with using a proxy. If an
owner is smart enough to realize they can’t resist drafting
Tebow number one overall, and he can find someone to step in to
take control of those wayward reins, more power to him. There’s
a reason NFL owners employ general managers. And there’s a
reason the Raiders are awful.
So, if an owner wants or needs to miss the best day of the year
just so he can live in a better city, or save the life of a rodent,
or keep his job, or actually listen to his spouse, or even refresh
his screen every twenty seconds to forward injury reports to his
proxy, let him. Let Kiper nab him the best team ever. Let him walk
away with an undefeated season and the whole pot. He’s missing
the gut-wrenching, loud-mouthing, drunken buzz of the draft. You
may end up 0-13, but you made it to the draft, and the palpable
excitement surrounding those few precious hours is something no
one can put a price on.
Unless of course the pot is pushing a grand. Then, by all means…raise
the biggest stink you can!
|
